“She was mean and out of control.”
“She let her kids run out of control.”
“He was rude to me.”
“He let his kids break the rules.”
The list goes on, but I think you get the idea. People do things and then people do things in response to those things and they are always pointing back at the last person. It has been happening since the dawn of time.
“The serpent tricked me.”
“The woman YOU gave me talked me into it.”
I came across an article that involved the very topic that had been encountered in my own kitchen. One party acted inappropriately (or not, depending on who you ask) and the second part acted inappropriately in response (again, depending on who you ask).
There are people out in this world that will not act appropriate under any circumstance and then there is only one thing that I can do. I can CHOOSE how to respond. Despite their actions or their attitudes, THEY do not control me unless I give into those actions and attitudes instead of making my own choice.
It does not make me strong or brave or better to act inappropriately under any circumstances. It makes me look angry, out of control, and sometimes just plain mean.
My response is up to me – it is no more complicated than that.
Tips for Choosing to Act Better
– Ask yourself if your grandmother would approve. This may not work for everyone, but for those of us raised in the South by Southern Belle grandmothers that would make Emily Post seem uncouth, it works.
– Ask yourself if you want your children doing what you are going to do (or saying what you are going to say). Children are watching and if you do it then they will learn that it is okay no matter what you tell them.
– Ask yourself if it is worth it. In the end, will the meltdown, throw down, or shout down change what happened. It has happened and all the yelling and temper tantrums in the history of the world have never been able to change the past.
You might be in the right, but that does not clear the way to act in a way that matches or even goes beyond the actions of the ones thrown at you. Choose better or at least choose to act in a way that presents better to those around you.
The choice will make the difference.
It can be tough staying calm when the storms are coming at you. Get more tips for standing firm by downloading a copy of S.T.A.N.D. for free today.