There are a lot of theories about how to be a good wife. Some are distorted interpretations of one religious doctrine or another. Some are tradition handed down for generations without any rhyme or reason (or for reasons that have long been forgotten). The best way to be a good wife is to be a good you.
1. Stop right now trying to change him. There is only one person you can change in the relationship and that is YOU. Work on making you the best you that you can be. Keep it “on the down-low.” Your change should be obvious because of what he sees, hears and feels not because you show him how you are trying to change. A good wife does not nag (in the end it is just a waste of breath anyway).
2. Focus on you – when it comes to change. Being a good wife means that you have to work hard to correct negative patterns and habits in YOUR life (I was EXTREMELY sarcastic when I first got married – often to the point of hurting others. I have had to learn that words do hurt).
3. Focus on him – when it comes to needs and wants. If you will put others first (but not to the detriment of your health) with a joyful heart then you will see a drastic change in the world around you. Sometimes being a good wife means sacrificing a little of you for him (and them when children come along).
4. Support his dreams. If he wants to quit working a “real” job and start his own business then sit down and work out a plan with him that will give him that opportunity. He needs your support to be truly successful. There is a balance for a good wife between supporting dreams and discouraging foolishness and you have to learn to find that balance and approach the situation with tact. But every dream deserves a chance to live.
5. Speak positive things over his life. Every wife gets frustrated at times and that is understandable, but 99% of what you say about (and around) your husband should be good, positive and uplifting.
6. Being a wife is a job – think of it in that terms. Work hard to do what is expected of you in the relationship. Ask your husband to write down what he expects. You write down what you expect. Work out a list that you can both be happy about from day to day. Remember that everyone comes into marriage with different expectations and part of being a good wife is blending those expectations so that the two can become one.
7. A good wife will create a zone of safety and comfort in the home. Make it a noise free zone when the hubby first gets in. Have a project or activity set up for the kids so that they can get out of the house (or off to another room) after greeting dad.
8. Take pride in what you are doing. Being a good wife if one of the most valuable things a married woman can do. Stop making excuses for why things aren’t the way you want and start working right now to get them that way.
9. Find the joy in being a good wife. There are positive things to say about every job. Find your silver linings and focus on those when things get tough, mundane, or just tiring.
10. Value yourself – no matter what others might say or do. Remember that being a good wife will help you create a foundation for your marriage, your children’s future and your own well being. Forget the experts or the politically correct and look to your own heart to determine what being a good wife is all about.
Being a good wife is a growing process. It is not something that you fall into just because you say “I do.” Each day, each situation, and each time you turn around you will find that being a good wife requires flexibility, compromise, and change. Take the challenge and make your family’s future one that will keep you smiling.
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