I was annoyed at God.
All the prayers had been carefully planned and shared so there was an alignment of focus. We were to end the day in exceeding abundance.
To say it didn’t go as planned would be the understatement of the century – or at least of this journey. We weren’t even in the same ballpark as the desired results.
So I moped around and wallowed in my frustrations and disgust. My annoyance at God grew the more I thought about the unacceptable circumstances. The higher the annoyance level, the more it served to make the rest of my day magical . . . only from the position of the evil witch.
Nothing seemed right. Nothing worked out. Nothing made me relaxed. I stayed on the verge of tears. Nothing seemed true anymore except the truth of the lack.
Even the things that should have helped only showed more deficits. I was tired on top of the annoyance – not the best combination for sleeping sweet. I went to bed with the lyrics about fighting my battles in prayer ringing through my head (because in the toughest times, the things we’ve fed into our head will bubble up).
“I believe, Lord. Help my unbelief.” I knew. Despite all that had transpired and all the annoyance of the way things had ended, I know. I just couldn’t understand.
Beyond Being Annoyed at God
I woke up shortly after the turn of the clock declared a new day – that’s REALLY early, for the record. As I began my morning readings (because what else are you going to do at that hour when sleep isn’t an option) I became engrossed in the words of Nahum 2:1. I dug through the concordance to understand each and every word individually and as a whole.
And then I fell asleep, just sitting there reading, and so I crawled back in bed to sleep away the rest of the darkness of the early morning. When I awoke again with the sunrise I had an exceeding abundant sense of calm and peace that had not settled around my heart for quite a long time.
I still didn’t see it all, but I knew the next step I was to take with clarity and surety. And it wasn’t a step dictated by desperation or fear. Instead, it was one engulfed in peace and directed by purposed resolve.
The more I worked through it, the more I recognized the Truth. The outcome WAS exceedingly abundant because it pushed us closer together and closer to God. It clarified to us that a moment, a situation, a person, or an organization will never be our answer. It reinforced the conviction of His plan and His way and reconnected us to Trust and Faith in a bold way.
The road we travel in the world is not won with this world. Victory illudes the world and confounds the world even as it defeats the world. The world will think that Faith Victory is crazy . . . or worse, and it will be certain to explain that to you in no uncertain terms. That’s okay. It’s more than okay. It’s exceedingly abundantly okay because it shows our full confidence and hope in the One who made this world.
THIS is how we fight our battles!
I’m not ashamed of being annoyed at God. At least I was already talking to Him and trying to understand. I think He expects His children to get annoyed now and then. But when we are caught in those moments of being annoyed at God, we have to have someone or something that helps us come back to center and remember the Truth.
God’s got this.