I am fat. Iâ€™ve tried to ignore the fact for the last couple of years, but the mirrors donâ€™t lie and I have to look in them every now and again. My family has always been weight conscious, so it would be an easy out to say itâ€™s genetic. Just this last holiday, the conversation turned to diets and weight loss almost as soon as we were all in one spot together.
The truth is much more brutal. I am fat because I choose to eat too much. I would go so far as to say I am addicted to the stuff. There are times when I am so full I have to loosen my pants, but I can still find space for some chocolate cake. There is no denying it. But Iâ€™ve decided that just admitting that fact is to win the battle. Now I can face the enemy and know itâ€™s the enemy.
And face the enemy I must. Unlike other addicts, I canâ€™t avoid the temptation. In order to survive, I must eat. So how do I deal with the substance that is wreaking havoc on my life?
The key to losing weight and gaining control over the food is to chew less. Itâ€™s not about swallowing the food whole, itâ€™s about putting less food in my mouth to start with. Itâ€™s about making a choice to eat or not to eat. Admitting that I have a problem has already made the choice much easier. The last two days have been about just eating until Iâ€™m satisfied – think first date kind of meal – but still eating what I really like or want.
Even with the triumph of the last two days, temptation has still tried to creep in. At lunch, I knew I was satisfied, but I wanted to finish my sandwich. I needed to finish my sandwich. It didnâ€™t make sense, but it was an overwhelming feeling. I ended up choosing to stop after three quarters and even left some chips on the plate. By the time I cleaned up my mess and put my dishes in the sink, I realized that I was just passed satisfied. (The brain is so slow in figuring out the stomach is full.)
Then later, I â€œneededâ€ something sweet to eat. There are NO sweets in my house right now – not for any particular reason other than we ate them all – but I needed something. I even thought about making cookie dough, but I didnâ€™t want to go to the trouble or have to clean up the mess. (Writing this right now, I realize that what I NEEDED was a fix â€“ hmmm).
I was about to call my husband at his dadâ€™s house and have him bring me a candy bar when I remembered the Reeseâ€™s Cup my middle son saved from his class at church this past Sunday to give as a gift to his older brother. They hadnâ€™t said anything about it since then, so I figured that made it open to the public. Just as I was settling in to enjoy the experience, it occurred to me what I was going to do.
The truth was, I didnâ€™t NEED anything. I wasnâ€™t hungry. I wasnâ€™t even all that tired. I just wanted to eat. I pushed the candy aside, and it will live to see another day. I got a glass of water and called it a night.
Food does not control my life any more. As I take back control, I know that the weight is already starting to melt off. Technically, weight loss occurs when you take in less energy than you give off. If Iâ€™m not shoving my mouth full of food that Iâ€™m not hungry for then the scales will soon be tipping in my favor once again.
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