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Facebook Causes “Bad Mommy” Syndrome

Bad Mommy Syndrome is alive and growing in the world. It’s bad enough you beat yourself up for the choices you’ve made, or haven’t made, or are making, or might make, but now social media throws in your face those things you haven’t even thought about.

It’s exhausting!

I click through all the holiday photos on Facebook and I begin to question my parenting abilities. I watch all the posts on Facebook about trips, events, or activities and I begin to wonder if I am doing ANYTHING right.

This parent bought his child a new car. That parent spent all night creating personalized holiday treats. The other parent planned the perfect vacation. And the other parent spent the weekend bouncing from one activity to the next. I am exhausted and broke just watching online.

I admire their ability to give it all. I smile at their achievements and opportunities. I sigh at the realization that I do not do half of what they do and I begin to wonder if my children are suffering for my lack.

I bemoan my misdeeds, my missteps, and my misdirection. I fret over the repercussions that will befall my family because of my decisions (or lack thereof). I struggle to sleep some nights because I have does so little to promote the mental health and wellbeing of my family

But I do sleep, and then I wake to the quiet calm of the dawn. I open my Bible and do my reading and I am filled with peace. The family sits around the table eating together and laughing together.

I watch the children play together, work together, and even pray together. We share plans. We talk of dreams. We encourage both – altogether, as a family. I settle in the confidence that they (and we) are walking on the right path.

Immunize Against Bad Mommy Syndrome

  • Seek God. A heart focused on God first will find peace even through the storms of social media.
  • Focus on what you have. The more you repeated your gratitudes the more gracious you become (and the less concerned about what others are doing).
  • Never compare your heart with their surface. Just because it’s posted doesn’t mean it shows the heart. If you are going to compare, compare your today with your yesterday so you can prepare your tomorrow.

Yes, we do things differently than others. What should be expected from a family that embraces the motto “being normal is over-rated?” I can compare our journey to the ones I see on Facebook, or I can continue to embrace what I see before me.

Even with family, it comes back around to choice. Choose to reject bad mommy syndrome.

Be blessed,

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5 Comments

  1. Every day I go through this too. I hate the mommy wars that make you feel that you are a failure if you don’t raise your kids the same as everyone else. I call b.s. on it. My kids are happy and healthy and that is all that matters. I am glad that you have found this too. It shouldn’t be a secret.

    1. I know it shouldn’t be a secret Sheri – I totally agree. And I think that since we are all different we should EXPECT to live different lives.

      But still . . . in the quiet of my office space when all of those images flash on Facebook . . . I go there 😉

  2. It’s hard not to constantly compare yourself to other parents! But people usually post the really good stuff on FB and leave out the bad. I know I’m guilty of it!

    1. Very true Ariel – but when I see all the great stuff others are doing, I do struggle with concern of “is it enough.”

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