Facing Marriage Controversy or Consistency Challenge – Day Eighteen

The blog post by Seth Adam Smith about marriage sparked a lot of opinions. I took some time to read the original blog post. I also followed several Facebook threads and other blog posts that fell on one side of the issue or the other.

I avoided commenting. I got the feeling from the comments I was reading that my opinion would not be appreciated by anyone with a different view. Of course, opinions are like that. The #bloglikecrazy challenge today calls for controversy or offers the prompt to address a controversial issue.

This felt like a good fit.

My Opinion on Why Marriage Isn’t for You

– if you take time to pay attention, you will discover that most things in life are not about you. If “I” becomes the focus, then the feelings, needs or simple well-being of others will often get trampled.

– no other person holds the key to my happiness, my success or my downfall. The only person that can effect that journey is me. If I am waiting for a spouse to make me happy then I will be waiting a long time.

– it is not just a relationship, it is a commitment that (if taken to the full understanding of the ceremony) is a covenant. It will take work. It will take effort. It will take going the extra mile even when you are the only one walking. My #6 tip for Being a Good Wife was to look at it like a job.

– there is no “I” in marriage . . . oh, wait.

– anytime you view a relationship based on what you are going to get out of it, you are treading on thin ice. Other people will catch on when you do things just for your benefit instead of their blessing (this goes for spouses, clients, friends and kids – people are smart that way).

I get what both sides are saying. There is almost always a justification for your actions or your choices. But, if you are willing to invest in the relationship, build on becoming the best you that you can be, and continue to seek out opportunities to encourage and support the other in the relationship, then maybe marriage is for you after all.