Any issue steeped in emotions will not be resolved. When emotions become the driving force then quit trying to change the opinions that stirred the emotions. It will only make more emotions rise up and will not solve anything.
I have an opinion. I did the research. I checked the facts and then I checked the facts again. I know the information I set out is right and it not up for debate or discussion. It is fact – simple and plain.
But I won’t tell you my opinion.
First, you didn’t ask me. If you didn’t take time to ask me what I think then you probably don’t want to know what I think. Even worse, you probably don’t care what I think.
Second, no matter what I say to you, you will not hear what I say. You have your own opinion and your opinion trumps even the facts I may try to present.
Many years ago, I was having a discussion with a friend over a Scripture passage. I made my point and she shook her head. “Where does it say that?” She demanded.
I opened the Bible to the Scripture and pushed it across to her. She read it. Shook her head again before pushing the Bible back to me. “It says that, but that is not what it means.”
Her emotions had become the foundation for her opinion and when I contradicted her opinion it fired up the emotions and would not allow the facts to come in.
I could tell you what to think – and believe me, there are days when I urgently want to tell you what to think (although I’d be better off telling you HOW to think – there is a difference).
My dad often says “don’t confuse my opinion with your facts.” In this case, he is right. You don’t want to know. The facts contradict your feelings and feelings should trump facts.
Getting Past the Emotions
- Agree that all feelings are okay – even if you don’t agree with them.
- Agree that you don’t have to change my feelings to talk with me about the situation.
- Agree that facts are facts whether you agree with the results or outcome of the facts.
- Agree that emotions will get stirred and when they are stirred a pause must be taken.
These issues we face are tough. Emotions will not change the facts and facts will not be positioned to change or repair the issues until the emotions are set aside. It may not be easy to accomplish, but it is the only way we can come to a solution that will make a difference.
Stop giving Crazy the control
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