“You are now on your own.”
The idea of launching my person writing floated around my head for months – years I might even say. The concept of making those writings the main substance of my income seemed like a Herculean task best left to the experts. The idea still cried out to be notices. I just worked hard to ignore it.
Three months ago my mother went into Hospice and that single moment clarified my idea. I gave notice to most of my clients – but I held on to one. It seems to me that the closer some of us get to pursuing the dream the harder we cling to the very anchor holding us to the past.
Three weeks ago my mother died and losing her sent me into a spin that I did not expect. There was the expected flurry of some activities combined with the massive storms of so much more. Words refused to show up and I was left staring at blank pages. My final client sent me notice this morning that they would be turning the work over to another writer.
I suggested the move. Part of me knew that until I let go of the anchor I would never truly fly. The other part of me knew that all of my current commitments were hindering my ability to focus on the needs of the client. None of me was ready for that moment of standing there on my own.
What to do when there is nothing else to do?
I started writing again yesterday. It felt good to see the words pouring out. I even thought that maybe there would be a way to balance the client and my life. Then the email came and that was no longer an option.
So this is it. I make it or break it with my own writing skills. I have the tools. I have been weaned on many websites and trained by some great and knowledgeable people. I have what it takes, but now I have to leap and know that all of that will help me spread my wings and fly.
What to do when there is nothing else to do – you jump!