Give Control Away
Once upon a time there lived a wife that desired to make everything work out just the way she wanted. Each morning she made a plan that included the things that needed to be done and she allotted the exact amount of time that it would take to complete the tasks. Days, weeks and months passed before the woman finally gave into the reality that life happens.
I was that woman and my delusion was that my grandmother and mother in law had been the perfect wives and mothers and it was up to me to continue the journey. Forget supermom – I wanted the fairytale (you know, where the squirrels and birds would all help me out during the day).
The last 15 years of marriage and a house full of boys has taught me that all of the planning and good intentions in the world will never MAKE things go the way that I want. Life flows the way life flows and trying to pin it down or dam it up will only cause even more issues in the long run.
I am learning to live one moment at a time. The plans are still made, but they include time for life. The flexibility has provided me with more organization and more peace than I ever imagined possible.
Sometimes it is in the giving away the real possibilities take flight.
Tips for Letting Go
1. Always be prepared. The Boy Scouts have it right. There is no way to know for certain what will come up. Have an easy fix meal in the freezer, keep the house picked up (yet lived in), get ready for the day even if you have no place that you have to be because you might end up having to go.
2. Relax your standards. No one will ever do things the way that you do things so quit expecting it to be done your way. Let the kids find their own way to make a bed, clean a bathroom or weed the garden. Expect mistakes. Be willing to compromise your ways. Most important, take time every now and then to help them increase their expertise in the area.
3. Walk away. There are times when things will not get done. Remember that sheets washed last week will not cause the world to come to the end if they are not washed this week. A floor that does not get swept today can still be swept tomorrow. Be willing to let things go.
Life happens. Letting go of the need to control each and every step, moment and direction will give you the opportunity to enjoy the journey that you are on.
This is such a good lesson to learn. I am a naturally unorganized person, working in a frenzy one day and doing nothing the next, so I over compensate by creating minutely detailed schedules, charts, lists… and then beat myself up when something doesn’t go according to plan.
However, it only takes one person to ask “So, what do you do?” and for me to hear their astonished response of “Oh my goodness,how do you manage?” to make me realize that when I look at the woods instead of the trees everything does run pretty smoothly most of the time.
Hey Angela – I have been through so many different lists and schedules that I could write a book on them. 😀 In the end, I have to remember that the lists are made for man and not man for the lists. 😀