Boundary Breakers: 5 Ways to Stop Their Instrustions
Are boundary breakers releasing raving squirrels in your life?
#QuoteoftheDay
Boundary benders
want to grow.
Boundary breakers
want control.
– Kathryn Lang
I had my squirrels corralled.
I had my life in order.
I had my plan in place.
And then I encountered a boundary breaker.
Well, actually, I didn’t realize I had encountered a boundary breaker until she had slipped in released the squirrels.
If you think it’s tough wrangling squirrels, try rewrangling them (much tougher . . . cause now they know).
I was so busy getting it all together that I missed the boundary breaker slipping in to knock it all down.
If you are going to see the boundary breakers coming, you need to set up alarms around your boundaries (which means you also have to set boundaries in the first place).
Dealing with Boundary Breakers
- Recognize them early.
Benders test the waters. Breakers bomb the dam. Know the difference. - Expect consequences.
Saying no won’t be easy. Holding a boundary comes with a cost. But not holding it? Costs way more. - Limit repeat offenders.
If someone proves they don’t care about your boundaries—stop giving them chances to prove it again. - Practice saying “no” like you mean it.
No apologies. No footnotes. Just no. - Check your boundaries often.
Boundaries fade when ignored. If you don’t review them, you’ll look around one day and realize:
The Power of Boundaries
When the boys were younger, we lived on forty acres. I let them run, explore, get dirty, and test themselves. But I had rules:
No crossing pavement or running water without an adult.
Simple. Safe. Effective.
Did they push those lines? Of course (they are, after all, my sons, and I am an expert boundary bender). The boundaries were there so I could call them home if I needed to and so they could see the limits and know when to say when.
That’s what boundaries are for.
Not to restrict you, but to preserve your purpose.
“Boundaries don’t limit you
they protect your purpose.”
Just because someone doesn’t like your boundaries doesn’t mean they’re wrong.
Just because someone gets mad when you say no doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to say it.
Just because someone has “always done it this way” doesn’t mean you need to keep letting them.
You’re allowed to say:
NO
You are allowed to set limits, limitations, and boundaries for your journey.
Don’t let those boundary breakers demand otherwise.
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