Stuff Happens
Live will go on and no matter how good that life may be right now there are things that will happen. The best laid plans will be disturbed. An ornery child (or husband or in-law) will shake up your day. The clock will go off late or not at all. Things are going to happen if you are alive and you have to decide how to deal with what is going on around you.
Dealing with the Stuff of Life
-
1. One morning I went to pour milk in to my son’s sippy cup. The only problem was that I had forgotten to remove the top. I poured milk all over the breakfast table. As I was mopping up my mess, my oldest son – now fixated on what I was doing – overfilled his own cup and poured a second helping of milk on the table. There were SO many ways I could have responded. All I could think was “this is what they mean when they say there is no use crying over spilled milk.” I laughed. The boys laughed and we had a pleasant morning despite the rocky start.
2. One morning I was running a few minutes late for church and was already agitated. My neighbor was standing at the end of the driveway. Relations between that neighbor and my family are not always peachy and I had no desire to completely ruin the morning. I stopped any way. I had just told my son that he has a choice in his attitude even when other people are annoying him. The talk with the neighbor was actually pleasant and I reminded him that we were always around to help out if he wanted. We were late for church but the atmosphere in the car changed for all of us.
3. One morning I got lost in my writing. My husband and children stayed in bed because the mommy alarm did not go off. None of the morning chores got completed. I was mad at myself but took it out on my hubby and children. I had to make a deliberate choice to pull back on my blame and choose to find a way to make things better. It was a rough start but things smoothed out eventually.
The issues that come up in my life seem to always require a sacrifice on my part. I have to admit a mistake, take responsibility or action even when no one else does or I have to give up the “me” and “I” cries to focus on the needs of those around me. As soon as I chose to focus on those around me instead of putting on the focus on me that is the moment that I over come the stuff and find the blessing.
It is always the knee-jerk reactions of human beings to blame someone else. To point the finger. I think it has to do partly with the way we were raised. Parents always said to me; “It’ll be worse if I catch you in a lie.” I’ve tried it both ways and they seem to be about the same. But if you lie you had a slight chance of getting away with it. A friend of mine told me a long time ago that when his son did something, but told him the truth about it, he didn’t get punished at all. I agree with the concept but it is not practical in application. Sometimes their actions requires punishment. As parents we should make a conscious effort to reinforce that lying is going to make the punishment worse.
Hey Steve – what about having two punishments (one for the crime and one for the lie). That would happen in the “real world” as well.
The motto around this house is that you are responsible for you. Even the hubby gets tired of hearing that almost as much as “there is always an excuse.”