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Top Ways NOT to Encourage a Husband

Encouragement dictates my life – most of the time. My words and actions are motivated by my heart’s desire to lift up the people around me. Some days I just seem to do a better job than others.

Top 10 Ways NOT to Encourage Your Husband

    1. Keep a list of all of the things he has done wrong and pull it out to use any time he has a complaint about your mother.

    2. Take the check from him at the holiday meal and tell the waitress “I am the one who pays the bills.”

    3. Point out all of the things he has not done around the house and then proceed to call your friend to come do it for you instead.

    4. Turn off the cable to save money just as his favorite sport is tipping off, kicking off or otherwise getting started.

    5. Fix breakfast for everyone but him because if he had really wanted breakfast then he would have gotten up and fixed it.

    6. Turn off the television in the middle of the big game (or big race) and remind him that he needs to be doing something constructive like picking up the sticks in the yard.

    7. Point out an old boyfriend in the annual and ask him why he is not more like that guy.

    8. Interrupt his rant about money to tell him that the bills are due, that you spent the last few dollars on that pair of shoes that was on sale BUT the check from the last job will be here any day now.

    9. Call him a jerk – or something more colorful – and tell him he is acting just like his father.

    10. Tell him he is acting like a baby – particularly when the four hear old can hear and starts chanting “Daddy is a baby; daddy is a baby.”

Valentine’s is not just about hearts and chocolate. It is about lifting up and encouraging the people we love. Keep in mind that every negative word must be countered with at least 20 positive words and actions. It is just a lot easier to start with the positive from the beginning.

If you are unable to say anything nice then say nothing at all.

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  1. Kathryn,
    Those items seem so obvious when I read them, yet I have to ask myself, how often do I do them, without even thinking? Thanks for the reminder.
    May I add one of my own? – Complain about him to your family or friends.
    If you really look at the list, every last one of those behaviors stems from a lack of respect. The one thing a man needs from his wife (other than the obvious) is respect. So doesn’t it make sense that is the area the enemy tries to get us to neglect?
    I hope you are spreading your wisdom in this area far and wide for the sake of marriages everywhere!

    1. Hey Susanne,

      Thanks for stopping by – I confess the post was inspired by my actions (I did one of those). It is not because I do not respect my husband but there are times when I do not respect his actions. I just have to find a better way of expressing those moments. 😀

      Complaining to friends and family focuses on the negative, so I agree with that one completely. I try to talk it over with God and then I work hard to only say things that are good, positive and uplifting.

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