The last few days have been a struggle – as much in my heart and mind as it has been in my body. I was knocked down pretty hard by a cold (that managed to hit me when my defenses were already weak). Typically I will sniffle and cough for a day or two but this is pushing a week. I haven’t had the energy to do much of anything and too much of anything would put me into a coughing fit.
So I have had the choice of doing nothing or doing nothing while wasting time in front of the television. I confess that the television has had an attraction most of the time. I have plenty of reasons and excuses as to WHY I chose the television, but none of them are worth listening to. The truth is that I was just putting off becoming what I want to be.
As silly as it sounds, I am beginning to believe that we all do a little bit of that. We have the hunger and desire to be great, but we just aren’t willing to take that step over into greatness. “I’ve been sick.” “The kids need me.” “There isn’t enough time.” The excuses help put off the move even though the move is what truly is desired.
I have started attending a women’s group on Tuesdays and there are a few of the women I think will hold my feet to the fire (and one or two who are pushing me even beyond what I had envisioned for myself). That accountability is something that helps push me even when the excuses are trying to hold me back. I missed this week – because I was sick – but already I’ve received cards and notes letting me know I was missed. Just the words of encouragement I needed to help me get going once again.
The fire is in me again. The motivation is there for me to become what I know to be. Now I just have to step out into that greatness and not look back. There is a song that keeps filtering through my head – at least a part of the song. The name of the song isn’t important and even the words escape me. It is one phrase that keeps replaying over and over: “There’s something in the air tonight . . . you can mark my words, something’s about to change.”