The other day I quit.
I gave up on my dreams. I gave up on my hope. I gave up on my faith.
I had all I could take and I determined I just wasn’t going to take it anymore. So, I quit.
I made a plan to sell the equipment I use for the #GrowingHOPE broadcasts and the #WriteTalk show. The quitting was complete for me when I began to apply to “real jobs” with the understanding there would be little time available to pursue my “hobby” of words.
The next morning did not bring relief. It brought several nibbles from friends and acquaintances of part-time work that would be on an hourly basis. It was not the “real job” that I had hoped would appear.
The Word and the Way had fallen from my attention. I convinced myself that long, theological discussions with my family would be sufficient to keep me going. My habit of reading Scripture in the morning dwindled from first thing to not at all.
Staying later in bed soon followed. I found not doing leading me down a path of not doing. Not only had I quit on my dreams, but I had managed to find my way into a whole lot of quitting that I never thought possible.
I didn’t like where I was and it made me angry that I didn’t know how to fix it. I knew I needed to do something – if only to do something. So, I did (three somethings in fact).
First, I determined to get healthy and to do what I enjoyed doing. Second, I committed to reading every morning – FIRST THING. Third, I started in the moment.
These three steps had nothing to do with why I had quit in the first place. They were simple changes (or changes back) to move me in a direction I wanted for my general life. Three days into the changes, I no longer need an alarm clock to wake me in the morning (and I get up early).
I still struggled in my belief of my BIG DREAMS. I still doubted my ability to earn a living with my words. I still felt the wait of “what if” trying to drag me into submission.
Despite the struggles, or maybe because I didn’t have an answer for them, I was doing something where I could.
You may not have all the answers, but you have some answers (maybe just one).
You may not have all the resources, but you have some resources.
You may not have all the directions, but you have enough to take one step.
Quitting may seem like the easier path, but it is a choice that requires answers, resources, and directions. I have determined to use my powers for good – to push me forward into my purpose even if it’s only an inch or two at a time.