Snarky fun and advice 1

How to Have Fun with Spam Calls by Practicing Your Pitch

The spam calls happen. Having fun with the spam calls can make them easier to tolerate. Although I have not perfected my spam fun techniques to the level of James Veitch, I have learned how to practice my pitch when the spammers ring.

have fun and enjoy the journey

“Ms. Lang, I am calling you today to talk about your warranty that is about to expire.”

Let me start by saying this was not the first time this company was kind enough to call me about the expiring warranty. In my defense, I had also been doing way more peopling that week than I normally like to do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a full-blown extrovert and I like to be around people when we are learning, growing, and sharing.

I do not like to deal with annoying, intrusive, rude, or crazy – at least not in bulk.

I had just come back from practicing a pitch for my new service repurposing peoples content and so I figured now was as good as any time to practice.

So, I responded.

    ME: I’m so glad you called. I have been waiting with excited expectation for our next call. I assume this call means you are ready to move forward.

    HIM: I don’t think you understand. I called you about your warranty.

    ME: I know you called me and I have been waiting for your call. Although, we have not yet discussed the warranty for our services.

    HIM: I think you are confused.

    ME: (going into full pitch mode) I am not confused. I know words have power and I believe in the power of words. I have watched words work in my life and for my life and I have watched words work in the lives of those around me. That is why it’s so important to find ways to share our words – and why we created this new path to take your words and turn them into your very own book. By sampling supplying your outline, course descriptions, or notes, we can create a book that focuses on your natural tone, voice, and brand. How does that sound?

    HIM: (after a pause) I think you are confused. I called you about your warranty.

    ME: I can understand how it might be confusing or a little overwhelming. Writing a book often feels like a monumental task and when we go at it alone it can be too much to tackle. That is why we are here and why I have been waiting for your call. We work with you to reach your book goals. So, are you ready to proceed?

    HIM: I called you about a warranty. I don’t want a book.

    ME: I’m so sorry to hear you aren’t ready to move forward at this time. Your words matter and your story needs to be told. We will be here when you are ready to take the next step. Until then, we await your call. Thank you for your time.

I then did something I never do. I ended the call. Normally I would think it was too rude to just hang up, but I felt like I had completed my pitch and with the definitive “I don’t want a book” response I felt like continuing the call would be rude.

Here’s the strange thing, I actually do look forward to his return calls because it will give me another opportunity to practice my presentation.

What do you do with unexpected and unwanted phone calls?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Be blessed,

Kathryn Lang signature

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