How to Judge a Feminist

The post about a feminist caught my attention – not because it was offense or because it was wrong, but because it got me thinking.

I grew up in a home where people were. What I mean is that they were just people – not color, or religion, or even sex. People were people. I knew that people were not the same, but I also knew they were all people and all people were on the same level.

My uncle was big on decrying the injustices and challenging me to stand out, but feminist was not a word I heard around the dinner table.

My dad tells me stories of growing up the same way – and about his first encounter with the realization that some people held other people at a different level. I can remember when I encountered my own wall of realization. It still feels odd to me that someone would determine the worth – not just based on outside forces, but at all.

My dad would not have known a feminist if one had run him over with a car.

I see this post that talks about “feminist” and it catches me at a thoughtful moment – or maybe I’m still a little loopy from the cold I’ve been fighting (and no, Katharine and Bethany, I’m not making societal remarks while on cold medicine).

Let me start by saying that I KNOW there are people out there that judge. I have encountered those people in many different ways and in many different places.

Also, let me add, that I KNOW I can’t change the way you think – only you can do that.

So, with those two thoughts in place, I don’t think I like the idea of a feminist movement.

I have written and erased my feelings a number of times already and still I know that I am going to offend someone. Just putting the word #feminist in the post will be enough to stoke the flames.

I’m not trying to be political – I am trying to be honest about what I see and what I have experienced. Most importantly, I am trying to share the truth about how I have created a difference.

[tweetthis]Some days I surprise myself with my superwoman efforts – some days I put the laundry in the frig @wandaraina[/tweetthis]

I am a woman.

I HATE housework – my husband is way better at it than me. I LOVE DIY projects and tinkering with things – my husband would rather I do most of it or just not know about it at all. I enjoy learning about cars – my husband prefers to trust someone trained. I LOVE to cook (although I haven’t followed a recipe in years) and entertain. I can multi-task like a pro and I can fixate on a single project until it’s done.

I am me – which is even more important to understand than knowing that I am a woman.

This is where I struggle with the “feminist” movement and all the other “focus on me” movements. I teach my sons (I have all boys) that each person is unique and it is my job to accept each person – not because they deserve it or have accepted me but because I have been accepted by One that made the Way for all. It is not acceptable (in our home) to call others names, to put others down, or to judge others. It is not our place. That is what we teach in our home.

Body shaming is not something that is done to women only – it something that people do to people. All of my talk and sharing won’t fix people. If it would, then I would have fixed people long ago.

Undervaluing the efforts of others is not something that is done to women only – it is something that people do to people (at every level of engagement). All of the marches and protests and declarations will not fix people. I rammed my head against that brick wall enough to know it won’t budge.

I went to social media to get help and focus on being a feminist and what it would mean for me and my journey (and for my boys).

Modern feminism still believes in equality for women, but attempts to be broader (the term used is “intersectional”) and recognize everyone who falls under that umbrella.”

Although I GET what is being said, I still think putting value of one over the value of another begins to edge towards trouble.

I went back to my journals and posts to see how I have handled my own journey. I challenged others to be radical which I could see aligning with some of the thoughts of the modern feminist . . . maybe?

I finally came around to the same ole same ole that I have been sharing with my family and growing up in my own life. Walk the walk and only when absolutely necessary talk about it. If I want to grow up a Proverbs world then I have to live out the Proverbs life.

All I can do to make this world better is to be better in my own journey. Doing that one step will have an exponential ripple effect that WILL change the world.

My sons do not think a job is a man’s or a woman’s – they just know the job has to be done.

Are you a feminist? Should we even be giving labels or do labels push the very judgment that we are trying to avoid?

Share your thoughts and link to your own posts.


Be blessed,

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