“You are as close to God as you want to be.” The words were shared by @Merlyn_Botton on Twitter and they hit me right square in my attitude.
The morning started off kilter – partly because of the storms shaking the atmosphere but mostly because I made the choice not to get up and get moving.
“What now?” I asked God. I had been doing what I knew I needed to do – or at least I had been doing some of what I knew I needed to do (and that counts, right?). The results I needed and I expected remained hidden.
I looked up at my bottom line and shook my head. It felt so far away and the results seemed too small to break through. “If only . . .” I began to think over something in the works and how it would patch the hole in the boat for a moment. I knew it was only a patch but a patch would give me a break from bailing so much. Maybe then I could do the rest of what I needed to do.
Working through my “if only” scenario took a few minutes and the end proved to be less than stellar, but it still better than the moment. I turned my attention back to the situation and the less than expected results. “Why them and not me?”
I questioned God a lot this morning. The words were shrill and a bit whiney if I am honest. “What about me – it isn’t fair – I’ve had enough now I want my share . . .” I may not have been singing those words, but I was sharing the idea as I watched the wind tossing around the tops of the trees.
That moment, the words shared by Merlyn scrolled down my screen.
I had been complaining about where I was in life when I could have been investing that time in the Word – like I would normally do every morning. I had been trying to fix a leak in the boat instead of getting out and walking on the water – like I know He has said I can do when I am walking in Him.
Finding the Courage to Let Go
There was a man walking along a trail. He stumbled and slid over the side of a deep ravine, but caught hold of a root from a tree as he was falling to the bottom. He yelled for help until he was almost hoarse and stopped to rest. That was when he heard a quiet voice responding.
He assumed he was imagining things since he had been alone on the trail. He shook his head and yelled for help until he could no longer yell. Again, he was quiet and again he heard the voice.
This time he responded. “What do you mean, ‘let go?’ I am close to death and destruction and you just want me to let go.”
“But what happens when I let go.”
“I will catch you.”
The man could not see the person responsible for the words, but he began to realize he had little choice. He was at the end of his rope – so to speak. His energy had depleted and night was coming on fast. “I will never fix this myself. I have to trust you.”
The man let go and fell a few feet to a rock below. His feet were on solid ground. He turned and another man stood just a little off to his side, ready to step in and help if he lost his balance or started to slip again.
“You should have told me I was a few feet from the rock.”
“Would you believe what you were unable to see for yourself?”
I know that anytime I am not close to God or I feel that God is not close to me, I am the one that moved. He is unchanging, always faithful, and always looking out for my very best.
Instead of holding on and trying to hold out – it may be time to find the courage to let go. I AM as close to Him as I want to be because the choices I make and the actions I take will determine my proximity to His will.