Ten tips

Top 10 Ways for Being a Good Wife

The path to being a good wife may not look the way you think it should but it is within your ability to choose.

10 Commandments of Marriage being a good with with Kathryn Lang and Snarky Rainbows

There are a lot of theories about how to be a good wife. Some are distorted interpretations of one religious doctrine or another. Some are tradition handed down for generations without any rhyme or reason (or for reasons that have long been forgotten). The best way to be a good wife is to be a good you.

10 Tips for Being a Good Wife

10 Marriage Commandments

  1. Stop right now trying to change him. There is only one person you can change in the relationship and that is YOU. Work on making you the best you that you can be. Keep it “on the down-low.” Your change should be obvious because of what he sees, hears, and feels not because you show him how you are trying to change. A good wife does not nag (in the end it is just a waste of breath anyway).
  2. Focus on you – when it comes to change. Becoming a good wife means having to work hard to correct negative patterns and habits in YOUR life (I was EXTREMELY sarcastic when I first got married – often to the point of hurting others. I have had to learn that words do hurt).
  3. Focus on him – when it comes to needs and wants. If you will put others first (but not to the detriment of your health) with a joyful heart then you will see a drastic change in the world around you. Sometimes being a good wife means sacrificing a little of you for him (and them when children come along).
  4. Support his dreams. If he wants to quit working a “real” job and start his own business then sit down and work out a plan with him that will give him that opportunity. He needs your support to be truly successful. There is a balance for a good wife between supporting dreams and discouraging foolishness and you have to learn to find that balance and approach the situation with tact. But every dream deserves a chance to live.
  5. Speak positive things over his life. Every wife gets frustrated at times and that is understandable, but 99% of what you say about (and around) your husband should be good, positive, and uplifting.
  6. Being a wife is a job – think of it in that terms. Work hard to do what is expected of you in the relationship. Ask your husband to write down what he expects. You write down what you expect. Work out a list that you can both be happy about from day to day. Remember that everyone comes into a marriage with different expectations and part of the good wife is blending those expectations so that the two can become one.
  7. A good wife will create a zone of safety and comfort in the home. Make it a noise-free zone when the hubby first gets in. Have a project or activity set up for the kids so that they can get out of the house (or off to another room) after greeting dad.
  8. Take pride in what you are doing. Being a good wife if one of the most valuable things a married woman can do. Stop making excuses for why things aren’t the way you want and start working right now to get them that way.
  9. Find the joy in the being. There are positive things to say about every job. Find your silver linings and focus on those when things get tough, mundane, or just tiring.
  10. Value yourself – no matter what others might say or do. Remember that being a good wife will help you create a foundation for your marriage, your children’s future, and your own well being. Forget the experts or the politically correct and look to your own heart to determine what this focus is all about.

Walking this path requires growing up in you. You get to your better place one choice at a time. Little by little, added up to more little bits. It is not something that you fall into just because you say “I do.” Each day, each situation, and each time you turn around you will find that being a good wife requires flexibility, compromise, and change. Take the challenge and make your family’s future one that will keep you smiling.

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  • Submitted on 2008/10/10 at 4:13 pm
    This is a good article but the only thing that I don’t agree with is that it assumes, and most articles like this do, that the woman doesn’t work. Not all women are housewives anymore. So, creating quiet time when dad gets home, etc, does not apply if you get home at the same time or later.

  • Submitted on 2008/10/11 at 8:03 am

    Hey Melissa,

    Sorry for that. I work at home and I sometimes forget that not everyone gets that luxury. Dealing with being a working mom AND a good wife is more complicated than most people could ever imagine. I’m trying to touch on tips and suggestions at my new website http://proverbs31life.com

    I hope that you can come by for a visit and I also hope that my points and tips here touch on the added stress that working can add to the life of the wife. Keep in mind that I don’t address how the MAN should act – although I think that he should love his wife more than life and show it – because I am working on me and sharing that experience 😉 .


  • Although, seems to me if he gets home first, he probably WILL have quiet time LOL (assuming, of course, that mom is the one who picks up the kids).