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4 Tips for Speaking Love: How to Put Words to Work for Good

Words have power, and speaking love turns that power into life-giving and life-sustaining properties. Put your words to work for good.

The Power of Words

When I was fourteen, I went to the local hangout with a friend. The cool kids were sitting around a bench in the center of the space with the “king” on the bench. When I arrived, I almost fainted when he motioned for me to approach his “throne.”

He gave me a long look and then made his decree. “You’re fat and your pants are ugly.”

I went home devastated and started a life-long struggle to accept my unique body (curves and all). To this day, I cringe at boot-legged pants (even though Clint and Stacey would say they are a good fit for me).

His words crushed my heart and set a burden on me that I am still working free from.

When I was graduating from high school, I wrote a long note in a friend’s annual reminding him that just because we were apart didn’t mean we weren’t together. I quoted The Little Prince and told him to be looking for his stars that can laugh.

Several years ago, I heard he had passed away. A few days after that his sister called to tell me that the quote I had put in his annual had been the driving words for his life. “We had it put on his tombstone.”

When she shared with me how much my words had meant to her brother, it reinforced the importance of every word I release into the world – in notes, in letters, in annuals, in book signings, in writings. The words I share impact lives (even if it’s just mine).

Her words inspired my heart to share more.

What you say matters – to every heart that hears it (including your own). Watch your words.

Why Words Matter

Words matter because they stick around. Once you’ve read them or heard them, they settle into the mind. Some even make their way down into the heart where they can put down roots and bloom into something amazing or spread out into a crushing vine of disappointment.

For every negative word you speak, it takes at least 10 affirmations to overcome – and sometimes that one negative can never be overcome by the words you offer.

A Tale of a Negative Word

Many years ago, we were having a frustrating day around our house. If it could go wrong, it was going wrong. If it had already been going wrong, then it was going even wronger. My husband stepped into our bad da with his own bad day and it all went downhill.

“You’re a jerk,” I told him – only I didn’t use that word. It was a bit harsher. 

I immediately regretted saying it. It was spoken from my own place of wrong. From that moment forward, I became intentionally aware of what I said towards him and worked at saying positive things.

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Still, what does he remember when things get tough? That one exchange. “Well, you said I was a jerk and you were right.” It’s his default place to go even all these years (and all those positive words) later.

Words matter.

4 Tips for Speaking Love

Think First

Think before you speak ESPECIALLY if emotions are involved. If you take a moment to think about the words you may find you want to modify what you’re about to release into the world.

Write It Down

Before you speak it, write it out. Writing down the words forces you to look at them from a different perspective. You can erase the words you write, but you can’t erase the words you speak.

#QuoteoftheDay - speaking love

You can erase the words you write, but you can't erase the words you speak.

You can erase the words you write, but you can’t erase the words you speak.

– Kathryn Lang

Pray It Out

Pray about what you are going to say. Ask for guidance. Ask for better words. Ask for the right words. Praying can help remove emotions and make way for speaking love.

Practice the Words

Say what you want to say, but say it to yourself, in the mirror. How do the words feel to you? How do you look when you say them? Practicing the words can help you make adjustments to either what you say or how you say it.

Speaking love means providing words that offer healing, hope, or heart connections. They can be words of conviction, but not condemnation. They can be words of coaxing or correction, but not dictation. They are words that give life to the ears open to hear them.

Today, find a way to speak love and you will begin to change the world.

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