A Good Wife is Flexible - Kathryn C. Lang

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A Good Wife is Flexible

It’s not easy being a good wife, especially when you have a husband to contend with.  There are just days when his plan and my plan don’t ever mesh.  At that point, I can throw a fit and quit or just “back up and punt.”  Having grown up in a house full of men, no man will ever make me throw in the towel.

What do I do to maintain my good wife status when it’s time to punt?  Most of it is improvisation, but some of it is planned chaos.

1.      Never let them see you sweat was a saying invented by a mother of boys.  If you are in a house full of men, you can not think you aren’t sure what is going on.  If they smell fear or sense hesitation, they will eat you alive.  When confronted with plans that your husband has made without discussing it with you (even though you have a list of things to do posted in clear site for the whole world to see) it is time to nod a lot, take a long, deep breath and excuse yourself to the bathroom.  Trust me, it won’t be a lie.  You will need to go.  While in the bathroom practice your smile and try to figure out what you can get done before and after the outing.  The rest will just have to wait until tomorrow.

2.      Set aside time every day for catch-up, or at the least you will need some time each week.  By having a make up opportunity, you aren’t as likely to freak out when #1 happens – yet again.

3.      Learn to distinguish between wrestling and fighting (and no, this isn’t just about the kids).   As for the kids, there are those times that boys will be boys – no matter how much you tell them NOT to wrestle.  The key is learning when the wrestling is on the brink of fighting and breaking it up there.  You will hear a distinct change in tones just before this happens.  Remember to act quickly and with out fear.

4.      Just say yes and when you can’t be positive then be quiet.  If your husband is all excited about the plans he has made, don’t dampen them with your negativity.  Being a good wife means bringing it up later.  Take one for the team for now.  After the dust has settled, ask if you and your husband can talk about the situation.  It may be that by then you aren’t even all that concerned, but it would still be good to let your husband know that you had plans too.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t think a good wife is a push over, she’s just flexible.  When something comes up you have to ask yourself, “is this the hill I want to die on.”  Is it worth upsetting yourself, your husband, and your kids?  I have yet to find a situation that couldn’t wait until later.  Now I’ve just got to learn to WAIT until later to bring it up.

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