In Over My Head

Did I jump too soon? I look around at my “almost there” moments and I have to wonder. Two and a half years ago, I was making a living wage writing content for others. It left me little time to write for myself.

Two years ago, I wondered what could happen if I invested the same amount of time, energy and resources into my own path instead of focusing on those other others. I continued to work for clients. I continued to seek out clients. But I had a dream and I continued to visit that dream.

I looked at my situation. I evaluated the competition. I set goals. And I jumped . . . that was eighteen months ago. I gave up all of my clients and determined to focus on my own journey.

Only I did not focus on my own journey. I found distractions. There were plenty of bright, shiny objects that demanded my attention. More than one squirrel ran through the room shouting for attention that I gladly gave away. I refuse to confess all the late night (or all day) television marathons that found their way to my screen.

In short, I expected it all to fall into my lap simply because I wanted it.

Now I sit here looking around at the stacks and piles, I listen to my husband fretting over the “almost there” not being here, and I realize that I did jump too soon.

Reasons I Know Now that I Jumped too Soon

    1. I am not focused on my goal. I know that I want to make a living wage, but I could do that working for other clients or working in a more traditional job (where I might even land benefits). I am getting closer to focused, but I was not there when I jumped.

    2. I have limited resources to leverage. My ally army is lacking. There are a few, and more now than yesterday, but to make the jump I needed more of a foundation of support.

    3. I lost my plan. I wrote down where I wanted to go and when I wanted to arrive and then I proceeded to stuff it into a pile where it remained lost for two years. Plans that are lost are no good. I need a plan I can see. I need a plan that I can reference. I need a plan that I can share.

    4. My resources were not in place. Yes, it is about money but money is only one resource. Connections are resources. Experiences are resources. Time is definitely a resource. Call them the strengths for the journey, but the resources will be what push you through.

    5. My consistency muscle was almost non-existent. I could do something on a regular basis, but I was a far cry from consistent on anything. Even my projects for other clients were sometimes consistent only because of the designated deadline that had to be met for me to get paid. It was not consistency but desperation. I am growing my consistency muscle by doing things every single day because . . . and for no other reason. Had I been in that place of consistency when I jumped then I would have been able to produce over twenty-six million words – OUCH! That is a lot of books, blog posts or articles that I missed because I jumped too soon.

Never fear. The only way to fail is to not try. I have now learned that there are things I needed to whip into shape if I am going to swim this river. I can still get there. It just takes more time to recover than to prepare. If I had prepared better then I would have been ready for the jump.

Be blessed,


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