Change Comes When Judging is Released
I watched her scrolling through her phone as we sat at the light. She had no idea I was watching, but I was. I thought about that young girl killed a few months ago because she was texting while driving. I thought about that young boy who killed his friend when he drove into a telephone pole while reading his phone.
She was the same woman that complained that the parents let their kids text while driving. When the danger was over there, it was obvious. But she had no worries. She could handle it because she had years of experience that made it okay for her.
I sat across from the table watching him drink. “I limit my drinks when I am going to be driving.” He explained. I remembered my friends that never made it out of high school because of their limited drinking combined with driving. I thought of my friend who had just lost a loved one to limited drinking and driving.
First cast out the beam out of your own eye and then you will be able to see clearly enough to get the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (from Matthew 7:5)
He was the same guy that ranted over the stupidity and irresponsible behavior of others in the driver’s seat. He knew his limits, though. He was safe. He would never go over those limits and get behind the wheel.
The truth is simple. You are not able to read and drive. Distracted driving may not get you into trouble every time but it always has the potential to get you in trouble. Is it worth it?
You are not able to drink and drive with the same level of efficiency you have when you are not drinking. Alcohol will impair your sense – ALWAYS. Sometimes it will do more to your senses and sometimes it will do less. The effect can change because of your mood, your health, or your meal. Each time you drink, you inhibit your skills. Is it worth it?
I picked up my phone and called my dad to let him know I was on my way home. Half way through the conversation, I realized I was that woman. I turned it off, put both of my hands on the wheel, and gave the drive my full attention.
I saw it in their rants with ease. Their hypocrisy glowed like a spot light on their actions. I could tell what needed to be done and I would have been happy to tell them.
In my own life – it was not as easy – or maybe I just chose not to see. I would rather fix the world than to fix my own life but the world will never change until I step up and begin changing myself.
Lessons to Learn about Judging and Change
– It always looks worse when you are doing it. I am more experience or more adept. I can handle it.
– I will never fix you. It is not my job and I do not have it within my ability to do it. I will never fix my husband or my children or my brothers or my dad or my father-in-law . . . and I am not supposed to fix them. I am supposed to love THEM and work on my own hurts, habits, and hangups.
– It takes acceptance. The person pointing over there usually is working to detract from his or her own struggles. Until I admit that I have the problem (and that I am the problem) I will tend to lean towards judgement.
We all make bad choices at times. All choices lead to circumstances that can never be altered because they are all in the past. Some choices may seem worse on the surface, but any time I am choosing to do something other than what I am designed to do then I am causing an issue – either in my life or in the lives of those I encounter.
I must recognize that I am the problem. I must choose to address the issues in my life. And when I am “all in” with God and focused on my walk with Him then maybe I will be in a position to help you with your speck.
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