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Balancing Spouse and Children

Get the trumpets ready and prepare the confetti. I have discovered the magic formula for balance between kids and spouse.

This last week I had the blessing of attending an online conference through A Woman Inspired. The One Marriage Conference was filled with amazing speakers and LOTS of fun chatting. I walked away with a new attitude towards my husband – and he is supremely grateful to the speakers and hostesses for putting on the conference.

My morning always starts with prayer over my family. In light of all that I have experienced through the week, a revelation struck me during that time. I have accepted that God put my children in my life for me to be a steward over. My job is to help them to grow to where God has designed them to be. Each morning I pray that God will help me be a good and faithful steward.

I am a partner with my husband, not his steward. My relationship with him has to be fundamentally different that it is with my children. Teaching my husband or leading him down the right path has to be left to the Father. It was never intended for me to do that job.

All of this occurred to me as I was looking at the bed that needed to be made in our bedroom.

Shoulder One: “If you keep making that bed for him then he will never be responsible for making it.”

Shoulder Two: “You are here to help and serve him, not to make him responsible.”

And the balance was revealed. I am to serve my husband (but not be a slave to my husband) and be his helpmate, cheerleader and all around support. I should be treating him just like I would any guest that ever walks in my home – better even!

The children ARE my responsibility, in that God has placed them here in my life to be a steward over. I have to help them discover their path to God’s purpose for their life. That IS my job.

I was already moving in this direction, but today it was made clear. I have to make time (over and above my children) for my husband. Without that time together, our partnership stagnates and we miss the connection and unity required for that equal yoke walk.

Where does your spouse fall in the schedule of your life?

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  1. GREAT post. I stumbled upon your site as I began my Proverbs 31 walk and I’m loving it! Great inspiration and motivation to help me as I move along!

    1. Hey Shellye – thanks so much for dropping by and for linking with me on Facebook. I look forward to motivating and inspiring each other. 😀

  2. Kathryn,
    Isn’t that the thing, though? To learn to NOT treat your hubby like one of the kids. I got married while still in my teens and essentially grew up with my husband. When you’ve been with someone that long (27 years now), it’s easy to slip into mommy mode with them and forget that your husband is a grown and responsible man who does not need to be told what to do.
    Actually, it’s very freeing to finally put down that burden of trying to change or improve your spouse and just take up the burden of praying for them instead. It’s a much lighter load!
    By the way, I really like the embedded video on your site – I may copy your idea! 🙂
    Have a blessed day

    1. Hey Susanne,

      Thanks for stopping by – The struggle for balance goes on. 😀 Some days I nail it, some days I feel like I have been nailed to the wall. But the only way to get to where I want to be is to keep on.

      Thanks for noticing the video – eventually, my goal is to have several clips of my talks embedded on my sites!

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