Lately, I felt like I was walking up the dark path with the aid of lightning bugs. The flashes were just enough light to keep me on the path but not enough to keep me from stumbling. The fear of falling makes it easier to stand still than to try and push on.
Last Saturday our community was hit by a tornado. The storm blew over our house and knocked out all the lights. The lightning flashes seemed constant and provided enough light for me to get around the house and do anything that had to be done. The darkness did limit my actions and I only did the least that I could get away with doing.
Darkness challenges everything that we know to be true. In the darkness, with the flashing of the lightning or the lightning bugs, that rock that has been sitting in the yard for years can become something more menacing. The wrong light turns a harmless log into an alligator even though the logical side of the brain says it is NOT an alligator. Darkness provides an avenue for the darkest part of the imagination and in that darkness we often have a hard time holding on to the Light. The Light seems to be flashing on and off and that does not allow us to walk boldly on.
Jesus made the blind man see. When questioned about the miracle the man simply said, “I was blind but now I see.” That was all that mattered. The details of the miracle were not fundamentally important to the one that received the miracle. All that mattered was he could see.
Today I see.
The last several months I have been on a journey to uncover the vision God has for my writing and speaking. Although I am far from the end of the journey I am beginning to get a feel for the path.
Two and a half years ago, my husband left his teaching job. I took all of the financial responsibilities on my shoulders. My faith was strong enough to carry us. The writing jobs came in for the first year, but I felt a distinct tug on my heart to do something different. I have the gift of “creative writing” which simply means that if you give me a little information I can write about anything. And I was writing about anything and everything as long as it meant I could get paid in the end.
That tug grew stronger, and the more I ignored the tug then the darker things got. The writing jobs began to dry up and our finances soon followed. We had worked hard to eliminate debt in our lives and in just a few short months that debt was threatening to rise beyond its highest point ever.
My husband took a second shift job at a local chicken plant to bring in some money but to also allow him the opportunity to continue to work around the house and look for work in other avenues. At the same time, I came upon two new writing opportunities that would double my writing income and get our finances back on track.
I was still ignoring that tug.
These last two weeks have been a massive struggle. Every time I sit down to write, something comes up. The beautiful schedule that I prepared has yet to be followed. I feel like nothing is getting done, although I look around the home and see healthy, happy children, an organized house and feel the love and peace.
Last night I felt the tug and gave in to that tug.
God has a purpose for each of our lives. Discovering that purpose, through each season, allows us to enjoy that personal relationship with Him, live in His blessing, and walk confidently in the dark with only the flashes of Light guiding the way. Even in the darkest storm, the Light is enough if the light is what we choose to see.
The world would have you believe that you do what you do to make a living. I challenge you to see that you do what you do because you have Life. What are you willing to do to make that Life visible to the world?