Finding joy from the no moments may seem counterproductive for an encourager or even a little mean. But without no, there’s no room for yes.
Hold tight to joy by learning how to say no to the good moments (and the not-so-good moments).
When I first started speaking, I would pitch to anyone or any event I thought I could sculpt my message to meet their needs. One year, I was accepted to be on a panel group AND to speak at a conference – but both happened to be on the same day. Before I had a chance to decline one, I was promoted on the marketing of both events.
Before we go any further, I have to add that I didn’t know the dates were the same. The first one had not set its date when I applied.
So, I found a way to do both but missed out on so much in the process. One of my favorite parts of being at an event is engaging with others. The sessions and teaching from those sessions is gravy (even when I’m the one teaching). It’s missing something if the relationships aren’t there.
Because of the schedules, I had to speak, leave, and speak, end of show. I barely had time to say hello and goodbye.
Now, when I’m pitching a speaking session, I review where I’m pitching and make certain there are no other conflicts.
No isn’t the end. No isn’t a stop. No is a space saver for the better.
How No Moments Bring Joy
Many years ago, I had the opportunity to work with a group. I loved it – even the tough moments brought me joy. The next year, I was offered the chance to come back and work with the group again – with one catch. The board wanted the final say on my decisions.
See, I held one belief and some of the board members held the opposite belief – even though mine was the right one. They wanted me back because I helped foster a positive result, but they wanted their rules to be the ones I played by.
“No.” I didn’t even have to think about the answer. I wasn’t going to alter my values to fit their wants, so I said no. Despite missing the group I would have worked with, I found joy in not having to stress over their rules.
No can bring you joy when:
You miss out on the stress
When you say yes to something when your heart cries out to skip, to leave, to go the other direction, or to simply not, then you will begin to stress – either stress out about why you are doing it, or what you are doing, or maybe even stress out on what you are missing
You escape the limitations
When you say yes to their rules and their regulations then you sometimes miss out on anything outside that box.
You are pressed into new possibilities
When you say yes to what’s in front of you then you will not have space for the things you haven’t even yet imagined.
No isn’t a rejection of one but an allowance for another. Until you become okay with saying no you won’t be positioned to live your BIG DREAM goals. Finding Joy for your journey happens when you become empowered by the no moments.