Luke 12:7b “Do not fear, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
I know my husband loves me. I have always known this little fact – despite how hard we fought when we were younger and tried to ignore the love. Two decades of marriage have passed, and I still now this fact. There are just moments when I feel less than loved.
This morning, I sat watching the sparrows flitter around in the leaves outside my window. One perched on the banister of the porch and proclaimed praise to the morning. Despite the large number of sparrows, I have yet to see one wringing his wings in fret.
Now, I am certain you are wondering if I mixed up two different posts. It looks like that even to me and I am the one doing the writing. These elements will connect – I promise.
I set out a few years back to build a writing and speaking career. I prayed about the journey. I looked for wisdom and guidance from those in my Spiritual family. I even took a few steps in the right direction.
I made a bolder attempt in this pursuit over the last few months. I committed more time. I committed more resources (which were already a challenge). I refused to allow anything to hinder the pursuit.
I went to sleep the other night with a heaviness that I have not felt in a long time. “Our struggle is my fault.” The words tried to keep me from rest. I began repeated a song from church camp that came from Scripture, “Lord you have now set your servant free . . .” Sleep came, but it was short.
I woke still wondering about the answers. I need. I want. I ask. I seek. I knock. It feels like I am left out in the wilderness on my own.
And here is the connection. My feelings have not effect on the situation. No matter how I feel about my husband – he loves me. When I stop “feeling” and look at him – with the eyes of Love – then I see his love shining even brighter every day.
The same holds true for my Father. I have no idea what is going on. I have tried to figure it out. I have tried to “fix” it. Yet, here I am – still wondering, still wandering, but still stepping.
That is the key. He did not tell me to have all the answers. He told me to take the next step. He said that he provided for the sparrows, and yet I am more important to Him than all of the sparrows flittering outside my window and I still worry about His response in my life.
He is here – right now. I have to find my rest in that one, simple fact. And join the sparrow that just lighted on my window and sing praises.