Quit Following Rules They Make
Quit following their rules. Quit trying to make your way work in their rules. It’s not going to. You either have to give up your way, or break their rules.
#QuoteoftheDay
Quit following rules
that have nothing to do
with your journey.
– Kathryn Lang
All through school, I didn’t break the rules.
Stop laughing. I didn’t.
I did bend the rules . . . sometimes just to the point of breaking . . . but I didn’t break the rules.
As I got older, I began to realize that the people who made the rules may not have taken the time to read the rules or to try following them for themselves.
I stepped into my journey with a wheelbarrow full of rules that had nothing to do with my journey.
The Truth of Their Rules
I heard a story about a young lady who was making a roast for the first time for her new husband. She was just learning about how to be a housewife and learning about balancing the budget, keeping house, making the meals, and all that is required in the job.
Her husband came in and saw the roast on the table . . . what was left of the roast. A large end of the roast in the garbage. “Why did you cut the end off the roast?”
She looked at him like he had grown a third eye. “Because Mom cut the end off the roast.”
“But why?” He persisted.
“You’ll have to ask her next time you see her.”
Finding the Truth
But he wasn’t going to wait. He needed to know now, so he called his Mother-in-law. “She threw half the roast in the garbage.” He announced after the basic greetings were done.
“It wasn’t half,” she demanded from the other side of the kitchen. “It was just the end.”
“Fine. It was just the end, but she said she was doing it because you did it. Why do you do it?”
“Really? You don’t know?”
“I wouldn’t be calling if I knew,” He assured his Mother-in-law.
“Well, I did it because my mom did it.”
“But WHY?” He was about at his wit’s end.
“I don’t know why she did it, just that was how she taught me to do it. And her recipe produced the best roast I’ve ever had – apart from my own, of course.”
“Of course. So if I want to get to the bottom of this, I have to call MawMaw?”
“Or you can just wait until Sunday. She’s making roast for lunch.”
But he couldn’t wait. He needed to know now.
His next call was to MawMaw. “They don’t know why they are doing it, just that you taught them to do it. For the sake of my sanity, can you please explain to me why you cut the end off the roast?”
“Because my pan is too short.”
Rules and directions without understanding of their purpose will leave you with wasted roast ends.
Finding My Way
While Building a writing business, I was home-schooling three boys. Therefore, nothing went in a normal way. Somedays, I’d be sitting in the floorboard of the car using my seat as a desk, other days I’d be in the yard using my lap as a desk. Always, I was doing things in ways that fit the moment.
Over the years, I ran into those people (or more like they ran over me) who wanted me to fit into their box. ‘You have to have all of your story elements outlined on a corkboard.” One lady told me that was the only way to write.
That was never going to happen for me.
In the first place, if you have boys, you know that if they can reach the corkboard then they are going to move stuff.
In the second place, I don’t have any corkboard.
After one too many encounters with people like this, all of whom demanded different rules that said you cut off the right side of the roast or the left side or just a sliver from both sides, I broke.
“I quit. It’s never going to go the way they say it has to go, so why bother?”
When I quit, I found out the truth. Nobody else knows my way. Nobody else can give me permission to do what I’m uniquely designed to do. Nobody else can determine my limits with their limitations.
It’s all on me.
Once I realized that, I also realized I had to quit a few other things.
I quit waiting for others to do what they were supposed to do.
I quit apologizing for doing it my way.
I quit waiting for someone else to approve of my journey.
I quit making excuses (for me and for others).
I started leaning into my strengths instead of trying to fix my weaknesses. With each step, I get stronger. The stronger I get, the bolder I become.
Why to Quit Following
So now I know. Their rules are not there to get it done right. It’s to keep me in line with their expectations. I may not have been a rule breaker when I was younger (again, no need to laugh), but I was also not a line follower.
My way is the only way for me to get from where I am to where I want to be. Yes, I do need to learn from others. Yes, I do need to continue learning. But I do not need to cut the end off the roast. I’m just going to get a bigger pan, or make cutlets.
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Are you still trying to make their way work for you?
