I am not you. I will never be you. My life will never measure up to your life because my life is measured based on me and not on you.
A few weeks ago, I shared a post about how I had discovered I was a horrible mother. The issues in my parenting skills had become glaringly obvious. I had failed.
The other morning, I woke to a post my friend, CA Marks, had shared regarding the same issue. Later that day I chatted with the ladies of Discipling Women: Damage Control on parenting, understanding kids, and who is right.
It took me a few times around the circle, but in each of these situations I recognized the real issue. We are all unique. Our children are unique. Our families are unique. Our journeys are unique. Despite that, we seem determined to look at others and let those others determine our own value.
I know this, but despite the fact that I know it the world continues to bombard me with words and reminders that make me question what I know. THEY tell me what I need to give my children, how I need to spend time with my children, and what I need to be doing for my children – and THEY have never met my children.
I need more reminders that THEY will never understand my mommy journey.
Remembering the Right Way for My Mommy Journey
– Stop looking at all the social media stories – at least until you can stop comparing the stories shared there with your own story. I am learning my limits and when I begin to hear in my mind, “maybe I should have done that” then it is time to log off. I can learn from the journey of others, but I will never be in a position to be that person. Learn and grow.
– Learn, grow, but also let go. Stop living in the past. If the things I am reading or seeing make me question my past steps then it is time to walk away from those words. I need words that will encourage going forward and not that will condemn more for my past actions.
– Remember all the things that are right. My children talk to me. We spend time together as a family. We eat meals together at least once a day most of the time. I may not have gotten it all right, but I have done alright so far. Keeping these positives in the front of my mind helps to beat back the condemnation that tries to creep up with comparison.
I am not like you – and that is a good thing. The world is a better place because of the uniqueness that prevails. As long as I try to measure my journey to your journey, I will have problems. I need to look at my own journey and grow from there.