I looked at the back of my friend. It was the thinnest I had seen her. The snide thoughts ran through my mind. “That is too thin for her.” “I bet she is not as healthy as she was.” I waited to see her face to confirm the negative thoughts going through my mind.
In truth, I wanted her to be “too” skinny. I wanted her to be unhealthy. I was jealous of the journey she had been on. Or I should say, I was convicted by her journey because I knew that I had not been pursing my own healthy journey.
In that moment – and many other moments since – I wished that I was skinny. I wanted a genie in a bottle to pop out and make me “right.” I wanted a fairy godmother to wave her wand and make things fixed.
I know the way to skinny, at least what would be “skinny” for my particular frame. It might be better defined as healthy according to society. The answers and the actions necessary for the end results have been accomplished before. I just refuse to make the effort now.
Instead, I scowl at my friend. Instead of doing what I know to do, I just want what I want.
Deuteronomy 30: 2 – 8 makes it clear. If I make the choice to obey God and I do what He has said (in and through His Word) and I do it with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my strength – THEN I find my freedom. When God is first in my life – THEN God brings me out of captivity. When I choose to obey God – THEN God touches my heart and prepares my way.
I can pout. I can complain. I can think bad things about others. None of that will draw me closer to where I know to be. Most of the time I get pushed further away from that determined or desired goal when I focus on the negatives.
I have a choice – dwell in the mud of my complaining, or live in the blessings that God has prepared. Choose God’s Will or choose the junk of the world.
How to Be Obedient
1. Be honest with self. I will never be a professional runway model. I am five feet tall and I am over forty. Those are just two of the strikes against me for pursing that particular profession. There are plenty of “cans” for me as well. I can get down to my ideal weight. I can get into a physical condition that will allow me to walk a flight of stairs and hold a conversation at the end. Honest expectations and understandings nurture results.
2. Be honest with God. Talk to Him about the struggles. God already knows that I had cookies for breakfast. They were not even that good and I was not even that hungry. I ate them because they were there. If I am willing to share these struggles with Him then I will begin to understand my decisions in light of His Word. I find my Way in Him because I am looking – not because it hunts me down and tackles me.
3. Be ready to engage change. Change will happen. I can choose to be an active part or I can choose to let change happen to me. But, I will never have different until I choose different. As long as I sit in the same spot doing the same thing then I will remain as I am. I have to move to get to where I want to be. My actions – that engaging of change – will determine my life. Walking in obedience to God elevates me to a place of promise and hope. Everything else will wither and die.
God does not bless those that live outside His Will. The riches of “outside” are fleeting and rotting. God blesses those that choose to obey His Word. The blessings and riches there are everlasting.
My friend turned around, and it was not even her. I had been grumbling and complaining in my spirit because of a mistake I had made. In truth, all of my grumbling and complaining is because of a mistake I have made. I have chosen the wrong side.
The good news, for me then and for me now, is that it only takes one choice to get back on the right side again.