How to Become a Good Wife - Kathryn C. Lang

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How to Become a Good Wife

I am a good wife - in my mind anyway. I want to do the things that will push me to the head of the class. I want to cook three meals a day, keep the house spick and span, and entertain. It just seems that my wants have a hard time keeping up with reality.

There are those weeks that I make it for several days doing everything that I know to do €“ and doing it when I know to do it. Then I hit that bad day when I can’t get anyone or anything to cooperate. Those are the days I find myself calling the hubby on his way home. “Could you pick up some supper?

Defeated and deflated, it can take me days or weeks to get back on track. Does a good wife every find herself pondering the idea “what about me?” Or am I the only one out there who selfishly wants to focus on me and me alone?

I refuse to give up. I know that being a good wife is not just a pipe dream. It is something that is attainable. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is not the answer. I need to keep changing. Molding and tweaking the way I do things will help me find the path I need to take.

Getting Better at Being a Good Wife

  • I will continue to make a schedule, but I will change the details each month until I find one that fits the pattern and life of my family.
  • I will continue to make a list of things that need to be done, but I will be willing to let things slide completely or at least trust someone else to do the ones that must be done.
  • I will continue to push myself to be more, but I will plan for a day or weekend of relaxation where I recharge my mind, body, and attitude.
  • I will continue to expect perfect attempts, but I will also expect less than perfect results. Reality is not as simple as the imagination. I have to allow myself, and those around me, the flexibility of mistakes. It€™s the trying and doing that is most important. If there is still a cobweb in the corner after the dusting is done, the world will not implode.

Being a good wife is about pushing me to be. It’s not just about the house or the family, although those things will naturally be affected by what I become. As I push myself to grow, I will fall into the pattern of being more to those around me. As I grow me, I will become the good wife I want to become.

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6 Responses to How to Become a Good Wife

  1. sunny July 5, 2007 at 11:01 AM #

    I am learning that we do what we practice. The more that I give up on–running, writing, cleaning, etc. the easier it will be to give up and quit in the future. Keep moving towards your goals.

  2. Dana] July 5, 2007 at 11:55 AM #

    Thank you for stopping by my blog. I’m enjoying reading yours! These are some excellent thoughts. I get bogged down because my husband suffers from depression and it makes it so hard for me. I want to make it about me, but it isn’t. I have to accept that nothing I do will make that go away, but I still can be a better wife!

  3. Mommyfied July 6, 2007 at 7:24 AM #

    We have the tendency to expect too much of ourselves don’t we? Be all things to all men, in our case our family. Be perfect mom, be perfect wife, etc. A close girlfriend once gave me one of the best advice ever, I have to take good care of myself first. Happy mommy, wife = happy home. My hubby would rather buy dinner and come home to a happy wife (and kids) even if it’s messy. Then again, hubby has rather low standards when it comes to spick and span!

  4. Firewife August 22, 2007 at 9:30 PM #

    I triy so hard to be a good wife but sometimes it seems to be unattainable. I try to keep the house clean, laundry done, take care of the the kids, make sure my husband has everything he needs for work, and work 3 12 hour shifts a week. Am I selifsh to think that I could have one day without the children fighting or my husband getting upset with over something that at times I don’t even know what we are fighting about? I need one thing to be happy….love. That’s it! Ask me how my day was, walk in the house and give me a hug…..call me in the morning and tell me you love…. Is this truly to much to ask?????

  5. JUST ME April 22, 2008 at 2:40 PM #

    I do try to be the wife and mother that they need. It has been 10 years of the same thing over and over. Good days house tip top, yard work all done, food on the table, homework finished, happy wife day……….Bad days………….well its not a good day. I find myself having them more and more. I’m tried of being the nag, or the B%*^! ….. Thats not how we started. Being home for 10 + years I feel like what is there for me? Yes i have 2 wonderful kids a very smart successful husband. If i want something most of the time i can have it………..But then there is neglect ..who wants that? And this has been going on for about 7 years I try to tell him how I’m feeling that is where nag comes in so after a wile i just give up. Now I find myself talking to someone who is a male. But there is NO SEX involved
    he talks to me about what he is feeling with his family and I talk to him. We tell each other how to handle somethings and at the end of our conversation I feel happy. I think some people may think that this is wrong.. AND IF IT IS WRONG WHY DOES IT MAKE ME SO HAPPY?

  6. myangelkat April 24, 2008 at 1:06 PM #

    Just Me,

    I think that we have all been where you are as far as feeling empty in our roles. The answer is not with another man. My best friend from college is a guy, but I would NEVER take my problems to him about my husband. There are a few, trusted female friends that I might talk with, but that is all. If I MUST talk to someone, then I take it to God. He always has the right answer (even if it’s one I don’t want to hear).

    The truth is that you are the only one responsible for your feelings. It’s not your husband’s job to make you happy or satisfied. Instead of worrying about what he is or isn’t doing, try finding out where your lack of satisfaction is coming from.

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