Tips to Help in Building Sustained Relationships
Building sustained relationships requires investment. They don’t happen by accident and they don’t remain without care. If you want to create relationships that will help you stand through the storms and the kind of relationships you can turn to when nothing else is working, then you are going to have to be actively involved in growing up the relationships.
Daily Inspiration and Encouragement
March 5, 2020
Daily Dash of Twisted Encouragement
Building Sustained Relationships
There are days when my husband doesn’t like me all that much. I know. It was a shock to me as well. I mean, after all, I’m me. #Snarkyrainbows, encouraging focus, and all. He says that not everyone wakes up all rainbows and lollipops and those people don’t like being bombarded by a sunshiney attitude.
They are wrong. But I quit trying to explain that to him.
I don’t always like my husband. Somedays, I don’t even want to tolerate him. I hide in my office with my headphones on pretending that I hear nothing and trying desperately to make sure it’s my reality.
Don’t tell him I told you I can hear him.
We are called to be in relationships, but not once in that call to build relationships are we told we have to like everyone all the time. People are people and if you are around people very long they get on your nerves. And sometimes you are the very “people” that get on your nerves.
Many years ago, I was asked by someone about a friend. “Would you die for her,” the man asked me.
Without hesitation, I answered, “yes.” And I meant it.
He didn’t leave it there, though. “Would she die for you?”
I stared back at him, unable to answer. Not because I didn’t know the answer. I clearly knew the answer. She would not die for me. Most likely she would throw um under the bus to avoid having to consider the possibility.
At that moment I understand why my dad had always told me that I would only have about 5 true friends in my life. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to invest in others, or others didn’t want to invest in me, but because the mutual investment so rarely matched up.
Building sustained relationships happens when we make the intentional choice for mutual investment.
Yes, even when we are in that moment of not liking each other so much.
Building Sustained Relationships
You have to make the choice if you are going to build up relationships to stand the test of time. Sometimes that means being considerate even when you don’t like the other person. Sometimes it means being okay with time apart. Sometimes it means purposefully focusing on the positives.
Always it will be an intentional choice to grow the relationships around you.
- Think of others first. You might be more comfortable hiding in the office with headphones on, but others might need you more than you need to be comfortable. Be aware of the needs of those around you.
- Choose to meditate on the positive aspects. See beyond the actions and look for the heart. Yes, your son may have just yelled at you and hurt your feelings, but last week he cleaned the bathroom without being asked.
- Dare to be quiet. If you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all. Get to a quiet place until you can come out wielding words of hope, encouragement, and virtue.
- Make time with others a priority. When something is a priority, you make a point to make it happen. If it’s not a priority, it becomes easy to find an excuse.
You build up relationships when you intentionally invest in relationships – not because you want to but because it makes the difference.
Things that build value in your life become a habit for your life when you consistently make the investment. Building sustained relationships happens the same way. You consistently make investing in others a part of your day until investing in others becomes the habit that guides your day.
What are your ways to get past “I don’t like you” to a focus on investing in others?
Building Sustained Relationships
My husband told me he didn’t like me very much and I began contemplating how I could seek my revenge for his words. In the end, I found that with a few simple changes, I could get even and enjoy the process.
Sign up for the course Building the Perfect Spouse to walk through the process and find your own way to get even and enjoy the process!
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Challenge for Intentional Actions
Building Sustained Relationships
Think of others first.
Meditate on positive aspects.
Be quiet.
Make time with others a priority.
Think of others last.
Make an intentional investment in others to build up relationships that will sustain even through those “I don’t like you” moments – because those moments will come.
Quote of the Day
“The way you choose to treat others will directly affect your journey.” – Kathryn Lang
You have to be invested in others if you are going to be invested in growing up your success.
What Others Say
Scripture Focus
Today’s Readings:
Acts 5
Romans 13 – 16
Hebrews 9 – 10
Matthew 13 – 15
Scripture Focus:
“He that received seed into the good ground was the same one that heard the Word, understood the Word, and then acted on the Word in a way that produced fruit.” – Matthew 13:23
Ponder Point:
The Word plants the seed. It is up to you to have the soil prepared for the seed.
Share Moment:
How have you been preparing your heart soil?
Study Question
Dig in deeper to the Word to grow a closer relationship with the Word.
God tells us to know His promises and to bring His promises back up to Him.
Do you know God’s promises? How does knowing God’s promises drive you to live out that knowledge?
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