I know that investing in others is key to living out a life encouraged. I know that giving will always result in receiving. I also know that if I do all in my own strength or with my own strength then that strength will run out.
The moment happened. I hit a wall so tall and so wide that it left me wondering if I had taken a wrong turn. I no longer desired to attend church. It felt painful just to be a part of church. The teaching held some flavor, but my rejection of church came from the crushing spirit that seemed to hover over me every time I walked through the doors.
The frustration grew the moment I had the opportunity to lead – a little or a lot was not important. I needed to encourage others in their walk and yet I had cowered in a corner myself. How can I lead others into a place I seem to have lost myself?
It dawned on me – in that moment of cowering darkness – it is not about me. No matter where I am in my journey and no matter where I may have been, the Holy Spirit will still work through me – and it is the Holy Spirit that guides us all into the truth. I might be the conduit, but I am not the leader.
Revelation often fuels encouragement – I want to share with others what I have experienced or seen.
I became determined to invest in others. I shared the encouragement that flowed through me, but it seemed it flowed through without leaving any residue. I was giving to others, but I still cowered in the dark. The darkness grew heavier because I could share with others would I seemed unable to grasp for myself.
[tweetthis]I can help you see what I struggle to see for myself – I invest in others with the hope it will find its way to me as well[/tweetthis]
The opportunities continued to be revealed – for others. They saw their path and they saw their place and we all rejoiced together. I watched relationships grow and expand and still I was cowering in the darkness. It hurts all the more to be in the middle of something I want desperately to be engaged in, only to find that I am disconnected and without a cord long enough to reach it.
I pushed on. I determined to get there. I continued to do. Despite my revelation, I fell back into the pattern of “I”.
My despair grew darker despite my continued flow of encouragement and focus on investing in others. I wanted to be with others and I wanted the comfort and companionship of people. I huddled tighter into my corner and closed my eyes.
“It is not about you.” I heard the words loud and clear this time and I looked up to find the source. It was a single beam of light, warming my body and piercing my soul. It challenged me to stand up and to step out – not with the cheering of man by my side, but with the promise of God in my heart. He called me to a place where I was solely dependent on Him and in Him.
Investing in Others without Losing Self
I am not the Map Maker. I stepped because God led me to step and not because I understood the direction.
I am not the One that sees the finish line, the whole picture, or sometimes the next step. I obeyed because God asked me to obey and not because I knew where He was leading.
I am not the Designer of purpose. I stood because God told me that I could stand and not because I recognized His ultimate purpose.
The darkness still tries to creep in – sometimes I am prepared and sometimes I am caught off guard. I am learning to reach for the light instead of giving the darkness its way. I focus on the reality that it is not about me and that I am not responsible for the results. It is up to me to make the choice to be obedient in purpose and on purpose and through that obedience to actively invest in others.
[tweetthis]I dispose of the darkness when I make the choice to reach for the light[/tweetthis]
How are you investing in others? Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below.
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Continue to grow up relationships and invest in others
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