Journey to Change – July 15 Journal Entry

Journey to Change – no plan, no pill, no program – just better choices and determined commitment.

Day One – July 15, 206

I’ve done this before – jumped up one morning and made the declaration to the mirror that now was the time. I have even started the day with a green smoothie, spent time in mediation and stretching, and moved every hour (either in some type of exercise or in cleaning – which is the more intense form of exercise on the planet in my personal opinion).

This morning, on the #GrowingHOPE broadcast, I was sharing how to dismiss distress and I commented that my weight could easily cause me to get tangled in distress.

Why?

The “why” of my current circumstances is simple. I have made choices that did little to benefit me on this journey. I made some good choices and some better choices, but I have made even more choices of being settled.

I have mentioned before that several years back, after my second son was born, that I discovered the path to weight freedom. I took that path – dancing and shouting for joy along the way and trying desperately to get everyone I knew to join me.

Getting pregnant with my third son provided me with the perfect excuse to veer from this successful path – because THEY told me to. I took the excuse and I should also say that the excuse took hold of me.

When I made that declaration about distress and my weight, it hit me. IT IS MY CHOICE. I know that I have said it is my choice so many times that I should have it tattooed somewhere – but this was that moment when I realized that I have to change my choices to change my circumstances.

(Confession moment: I almost didn’t include the image with this post because I HATE seeing myself and I definitely don’t want YOU to see me. But I am going to be raw and real and exposed as I can be on this journey and this image is a huge step in that direction for me)

Over the next 8 weeks (because September 10th is my family reunion and it seems like a good target), I will share with you my purposeful choices – because I know that sharing holds my feet to the fire and pushes me to do more. I will focus on four areas – because I know that my weight is about more than the food I put in my mouth.

Moving, learning, fuel, and engagement.

Moving: 8:30 am – 1.5 mile walk around upper field; 1:30 pm – 30 min swim with youngest (turns out I can’t swim like a fish anymore – YET); 5:30 pm – 15 min walk (around ¼ mile)

Learning: 8:30 am – 30 min of meditation on purpose vision

Fuel: 9:00 am – lemon/apple cider vinegar water (28 oz) – waiting for grow to eat. 10:30 am – finally getting hungry while fixing lunch for FIL. Had 1 cup of leftover chicken and rice and ¼ cup tuna salad and ½ cup pita chips. Combating sweet craving by diving back into digital work; 2:30 pm – 1 ½ slices pepperoni pizza and ½ cup chips. 9:00 pm – 2 cups popcorn, 1 cup Cripix cereal with milk. 11:00 pm, one Tootsie Pop.

Engagement: Visited with Stephen on Blab. Shared on Facebook and engaged a couple of folks. Worked on piece for Blue Ridge Writers (I want to speak there). Visited with some folks at the cub scout day camp.

I stumbled a little with the late night eating, but I feel like I accomplished a lot in the day.