Stop the Comparison Game: 5 Ways to Stop the Spiral

The comparison game is one trap we all fall into at some point.

Sometimes, we don’t even realize it. We scroll through social media, see a post about someone else’s success, and suddenly our amazing day feels like a failure. Or we sit in a meeting, hear someone list out all the things they’re doing, and think, “What am I even doing with my life?”

Before we know it, we are chasing the comparison squirrel straight down the rabbit hole, and they don’t even serve us tea.

#QuoteoftheDay

Comparison Is a Trap

When you compare and feel ahead, you lose.

• You get comfortable.
• You get complacent.
• You give yourself permission to stop.

When you compare and feel behind, you still lose.

• You get discouraged.
• You get frustrated.
• You give yourself permission to quit.

Either way, comparison pulls your focus off your purpose.

It doesn’t motivate. It deflates.

It doesn’t drive you forward. It slows you down.

It doesn’t help you grow. It distracts you from the growth you’ve already made.

The Comparison Spiral

I started my week full of hope and fire. I was singing. Smiling. Ready to go.

Then I had a meeting with a friend who was booking clients like candy from a Pez dispenser.

Suddenly, I wasn’t smiling anymore. I was behind. I was failing. I was spiraling.

Then, in another conversation, I found myself thinking, “Well at least I’m doing better than her.”

Oof.

That was my red flag.

When you catch yourself puffing up or shrinking down, you’re not focused on your purpose—you’re trapped in the comparison game.

Comparison is sneaky. It creeps in as curiosity or even compassion. But it will always pull you off track.

The more you lean into you, the easier it becomes to stop the comparison game before it spirals you out of control.

5 Ways to Stop the Comparison Game (and Win Your Race)

Catch It Early

Like a dog chasing a squirrel around a tree, the comparison spiral can go on forever—unless you catch it on the first lap.

Comparison often disguises itself:

• “Maybe I need to do what she’s doing.”
• “I should be further along.”
• “Why can’t I just get it together like they do?”

When those thoughts pop up, hit pause. Take a breath. Is this helping or spinning?

Refocus on YOUR Heartseed

Your heartseed is your unique design—your purpose, your calling, your path.

When you stay focused on your own journey, comparison loses its grip.

What can you do today to nurture your heartseed?

• One little bit.
• One focused task.
• One moment of truth.

That’s all it takes to refocus your energy on YOUR race.

I use the WhiteBoardofWorldDomination and the Focused Flexibility Planner. What do you use to get your focus on?

Track YOUR Progress

If you don’t know where you are, you’ll be tempted to measure your progress by looking around.

But their progress doesn’t reflect your purpose.

Keep a record:

• What’s working in my walk?
• What needs to shift in my actions?
• What progress did I make from yesterday?

I track my activities with the Daily Focus sheets – that break down my ONE thing into the four squares of balance: Aspiration, Stewardship, Transformation, and Fellowship. How are you recording your journey so you can evaluate your progress?

Limit the Triggers

Know what sends you into the spiral—and guard your heart.

• If it’s a certain platform, take a break.
• If it’s a particular person, set boundaries.
• If it’s an environment that drains your energy, give yourself permission to walk away.

Be intentional about protecting your peace.

Celebrate ALL the Wins

Instead of comparing, celebrate.

• Celebrate your progress.
• Celebrate their success.
• Celebrate the little bits, the baby steps, the things nobody else sees but YOU know matter.

When you live in celebration, there’s no room for comparison.

And when you celebrate their wins, you make space to grow in your own purpose.

We’re All On Different Journeys

Social media makes it easy to think everyone else is ahead of you. But this journey isn’t a competition.

Because you are unique in all the world and I am unique in all the world and each of our unique requires a unique race.

Get back in your lane. Refocus on your heartseed. And run YOUR race.

Because your race is too important to abandon.

Your purpose is too big. Your heartseed is too precious. Your light is too needed.

Let go of the comparison game.

Run your race.

BYoutiful in all of your uniquely peculiar awesomeness.

Stop playing the comparison game once and for all.

More Ways to Stay in Your Lane

• 🎧 Listen to today’s Growing Hope with Kathryn Lang podcast by clicking the play button below (if you are on the website) 👇 or visiting GrowingHopeRadio.com
• 📺 Watch the 58-second video reminder: Stop the Comparison Game on YouTube
• 💬 Ready to stop comparing and start showing up? Join the Hope & Courage Reset: Join here

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