Depending On a Good Man
Depending on a good man happens when you choose the right man – at least that was what the meme suggested. If you have a man worth depending on, then you can depend on him. Otherwise, you are on your own.
Unfortunately, this isn’t completely true. Actually, it’s not at all true. Even a good man will let you down. All people will let you down. All systems designed by people will let you down. That “people” that stares back at you in the mirror will let you down.
We live in a world of people, and people will let us down. The good news is that though we live in the world, we don’t have to be of it – in other words, we can depend on something so much more than what we can see.
When you are only
in the world
and not of it
then you can depend
on something much more
than what your eyes can see.
– Kathryn Lang
When A Good Man Fails
In 2020, our home was hit by a tornado. Our insurance agent was a good man. Despite his best efforts, the insurance company did not hold up their end of the bargain, and we were left trying to hold the pieces of our life together.
In 20221, we hired a lawyer to help us. Our lawyer was a good man. Despite his best efforts, things didn’t go the way they were expected, and we were lift trying to figure out what to do when all else failed.
In 2023, I recognized that I had put more faith in a piece of paper – a man-made contract – than I had put faith in the Bible Covenant.
Because we are in this world, I fell into the pattern of trusting this world to have our backs. But even a good man will fail – sometimes despite trying as hard as he knows how.
How Do You Trust
When people don’t do what they say they are going to do, and when some of them are actively seeking out a way to get around what was promised or agreed upon, how do you walk each day in confident trust?
The simple answer is that you put your trust in something that won’t fail.
The more challenging answer requires a focus on my walk over your walk. Instead of worrying about what you will or won’t do (and yes, this includes corporations and governments), I keep my focus on what I can do and what I am called to do.
When I get busy doing all my dos then I don’t have time to do the don’ts – and I definitely don’t have time to worry about yours either.
Depending On and Trusting In
The difference between depending and trusting comes down to power. When I depend on you, I’m leaning on you, and you are the pillar that’s holding me up. When I trust in you, I have confidence that you will do what you are supposed to do – but I continue going all in by leaning into my unique design and path.
Trust is faith in someone – abilities, intentions, or reliability.
Dependence is reliance on someone – what they will give, produce, or provide.
I want to trust in others. I want to trust in self. I want to depend on my Father because He’s the only one that can hold it all up.
My husband is a good man. He encourages me. Faith and love lead his day. He supports my journey and walks along with me, even on those days when I suggest something crazy (and that’s more often than he likes to admit).
But I don’t depend on my husband to make it work or to get my stuff done. I trust him to get his stuff done and to love me through mine. But I have learned that you can’t depend on a good man – no matter how good he is.
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